It’s time to do my semi-regular check-in post, ready for the weekend. In the last two weeks I’ve got a job, bought a car, finished and submitted a novel and found out I passed my MSc with Merit.

So it’s been a busy few weeks.

If you missed the latest blog post, this week I talked about pushing my boundaries and buying a car. Take a look here if you missed it.

I Am Currently…

Listening to:  Papa Roach – Where Did The Angels Go

Eating: Nothing

Drinking: Nettle Tea

Reading:  On Writing – Stephen King & The $100 Startup – Chris Guillebeau

(Most Recently) Watching: An old episode of Top Gear

Wearing: PJ bottoms and a blue tshirt

Writing: Nothing. Trying to take a break from it after finishing 80,000 words… but it’s difficult.

Thinking:  I hate going to the dentist.
Why do I have such an anxious personality? I’d never noticed that I was this bad until I had to do lots of travel for interviews and noticed my first thought on a train is “if it crashes, I want to sit up straight so my legs are crushed but my spine doesn’t snap”… I’m not even panicked when I think it – it’s just as a normal for me as “must take a sandwich for lunch”.
And I’m sure that’s not “normal”.

Feeling: Tired. Overwhelmed. First ever job, actually bought a car despite still being a bit terrified of driving, moving into a single flat despite being afraid of the dark and robbers and rapists and murderers breaking in. And then family stuff which is all very sad or anger-inducing.

Wanting: To go back to bed and have a damned good cry.

Needing:  To feel supported. I know I am, I’m just struggling to connect with the feeling. And my partner is having a really tough time and we can’t be here for each other.

Enjoying:  I enjoyed looking at different cars. The fact that I got into a six-year old car and thought “blimey this looks modern” shows how many 8 year old cars I’ve sat in. I also enjoyed cleaning my car while testing the stereo. Glad I own a few decent music CDs.

Grateful for:  My mum, my partner, my closest friends (you know who you are), this laptop, my new phone, doing better on my MSc than in my BSc. Makes it all worth it.

Looking at the Weather:  Grey Clouds.

This is my forth Weekend Wind-Up – where I wind up from the week with a few reflections and some reminders of “being present” in the now.

If you missed the latest main post, it’s an interview over at Emmanuelle Lambert’s site, click here to view my reasons for becoming an alchemist.

I Am Currently…

Listening to:  Nickleback – Burn it to the Ground

Eating: Peshwari Naan [breakfast]

Drinking: Green tea and water

Reading:  God on your Own – Joseph Dispenza

Most Recently Watched: Some program about sea otters in California on BBC four. Ahar, it was called Nature’s Microworlds.

Wearing: Brown skirt & black strap top.

Writing: NOTHING <3 Dissertation is done until a quick proof-read on Monday.  Having said that, I am writing this and hopefully a blog post today.

Thinking:  Too much about everything. It’s going to be a hectic week.

Feeling: Anxious. My grandfather’s been taken off his Aricept due to complications and he had an operation this week. Feeling very much out of the loop and for all my neuroscience and psychobiology knowledge, I am powerless.

Wanting: To get a job in Brighton. To be away from here, surrounded by my community.

Needing:  A rest. All my muscles hurt form the 12 mile cycle yesterday and my existing pain.

Enjoying:  This green tea and having my window open.

Grateful for:  Food, shelter and drink. I’ve been able to maintain my meal pattern relatively well despite being at my parent’s house.

And The Weather:  Sunny, hot… too hot. Hoping it’ll cool soon.

This is my Weekend Wind-Up – where I wind up from the week with a few reflections and some reminders of “being present” in the now.

If you missed this week’s main blog post, click here. It’s my 100th post about the Alchemy of Reflection and includes a picture of the spaniel I dog-sat.

I Am Currently…

Listening to:  Rob Zombie – Foxy Foxy

Eating: Cereal

Drinking: Just finished a nettle tea and made a green tea. Same as last week.

Reading:  On Writing – Stephen King, Working with Young People – Harrison and Wise, Descartes’ Error – Antonio Damasio, Biopsychology – Sheila Hayward & Mind and Matter – Erwin Schrödinger

Most Recently Watched: Secrets of our Living Planet ~ 4. Waterworlds

Wearing: Black skirt & red, white and blue stripe strap top.

Writing: Dissertation. Dissertation. Anything but my dissertation.

Thinking:  I really want job B out of the 4 I currently could get.

Feeling: Slightly relieved I didn’t get the PhD funding. Three years is a LONG time. Really anxious about yesterday’s interview. And next week’s.

Wanting: To have a finished draft of my dissertation just magically appear in front of me… I’m better at editing than the original writing. What’s the point of believing in magic if I can’t use it to make my homework appear?

Needing:  I feel quite content today. I’m fed, watered, rested and I have a fan to keep me cool. I would like a break from this work, but it’ll all be over in 4 weeks, so I’ll have to wait until then.

Enjoying:  The quiet of the house. It’s just the two of us; my housemate and I. It’s nice.

Grateful for:  Everything I have today.

And The Weather:  I’d call it a Heatwave ~ far too hot to rush to London in interview clothes for… but quite pleasant to sit in my room with window open and fan on.

I began a new series last week – the “Currents” posts which have been appearing on my favourite sites. I’m already a day behind with the series and this is only the second instalment; but as it’s called a “weekend” wind-up, I guess Friday – Sunday is still covering it.

I Am Currently…

Listening to:  Simon and Garfunkel – Bridge over Troubled Water

Eating: Just ate pizza – ham, pineapple and sweetcorn with basil.

Drinking: Just finished a nettle tea and made a green tea.

Reading:  On Writing – Stephen King   and     Mind and Matter – Erwin Schrödinger

Watching: Just watched Nina Conti’s Talk to the Hand (2010).

Wearing: Jeans, green sparkly strap top, grey socks with pink and purple stripes.

Writing: Blog post ideas and dissertation. The novel’s on hold.

Thinking:  I think I could possibly throw my voice if I trained hard.

Feeling: Torn between job ideals – I’ve an interview this week, one next week and I’d like to get the one in three weeks time (plus hear back form the one 2 weeks back).

Overwhelmed – re-learning to drive, buying a car/insurance/tax disc, finding a flat, getting a job, leaving this house, moving out of parents house, adjusting to my partner being in a new home over 100 miles away.

Wanting: To sing. I miss being good at singing and my confidence in my own voice. I’d like to sing to get better; but won’t sing with my housemates around until I’m better. -sigh-

Needing: A good dance! Bon Jovi it is!

Enjoying:  Life in general – lots of possibilities and moments of potential.

Grateful for:  Music, tea and my hot water bottle.

And The Weather:  Came back to the glorious blue sky and sun of Brighton.

I’ve been enjoying the “Currents” posts appearing on my favourite sites, most notably at Dianne Sylvan’s blog, so figured I’d join in and share some of my “currents” from the past week.

Here is my first wind-up ready for the new week to begin afresh (my week starts on a Sunday).

I Am Currently…

Listening to:  Adam Lambert – If I Had You

Eating: A bowl of Coco Shreddies (reliving childhood memories of a bowl of cereal when I got home from school).

Drinking: Green Tea (this answer may be repeated a lot)

Reading:  The Vampire Diaries: Midnight (book 7) – L. J. Smith.

On Writing – Stephen King

Mind and Matter – Erwin Schrödinger (Still!)

Yeah, I’m cool.

Watching: Not much – I only really watch TV once I’m in bed. Last night I watched Live at the Apollo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame & Mock the Week.

Wearing: Jeans, greeny-grey strap top, grey socks with green stripes.

Writing: I reached 40,919 words last weekend! Ahead of schedule too.

Basically any day I write something novel-related, I count it as a writing day. So if I write on Monday and that’s day 17, and then don’t write until Saturday, that becomes day 18. I need to reach 50,000 by day 30 (else I never get it finished!!) and hope to reach 90,000 by 50 days so I’ll have a good solid base for a book by around 60-70 days.

Also writing my Masters Dissertation thesis. Hoh Boy. It’s going, slowly. Silly odd results no one can explain >_<.

Thinking:  I wish I could sleep for 9 hours without gaining a headache. And wondering why I’m only getting 5.5 hours a night right now.

Also pondering that I’m going to miss my job at University – Thursday (my last day) my boss put on the Changing Rooms theme while we re-arranged a room in preparation for a school group arriving… and we all spoke german to each other (which none of us have done since we were 15 – both people are around 25/30) and it was amazing fun.

Feeling: Tired. Trying to plan the next 2 months is crazy. Home then to other half’s graduation, involving camping overnight to be there on time (going to be wandering around a campsite at 6am in a floor-length dress >_>), back to Uni then home for mum’s birthday then back to uni to hand in then tenancy runs out the next day so home again.

Oh and job interviews in between all that if I get any (and based on the 14,000 words of application forms, I better!)

Wanting: A new pair of jeans. Desperately needing a pair which fit me.

Needing: Jeans? Also need to get some milk.

Enjoying:  Knowing I’ve handed over my data to my supervisor.. So I can’t do any more work! Oh noes!!! =D

Grateful for:  A warm, quiet house. The sun streaming in.

And The Weather:  It’s England in July. Intermittent rain and cloud with the tiniest peek of sun (sunniest town in Britain, I’m told!)