It’s time to do my semi-regular check-in post, ready for the weekend. In the last two weeks I’ve got a job, bought a car, finished and submitted a novel and found out I passed my MSc with Merit.
So it’s been a busy few weeks.
If you missed the latest blog post, this week I talked about pushing my boundaries and buying a car. Take a look here if you missed it.
I Am Currently…
Listening to: Papa Roach – Where Did The Angels Go
Drinking: Nettle Tea
Reading: On Writing – Stephen King & The $100 Startup – Chris Guillebeau
(Most Recently) Watching: An old episode of Top Gear
Wearing: PJ bottoms and a blue tshirt
Writing: Nothing. Trying to take a break from it after finishing 80,000 words… but it’s difficult.
Thinking: I hate going to the dentist.
Why do I have such an anxious personality? I’d never noticed that I was this bad until I had to do lots of travel for interviews and noticed my first thought on a train is “if it crashes, I want to sit up straight so my legs are crushed but my spine doesn’t snap”… I’m not even panicked when I think it – it’s just as a normal for me as “must take a sandwich for lunch”.
And I’m sure that’s not “normal”.
Feeling: Tired. Overwhelmed. First ever job, actually bought a car despite still being a bit terrified of driving, moving into a single flat despite being afraid of the dark and robbers and rapists and murderers breaking in. And then family stuff which is all very sad or anger-inducing.
Wanting: To go back to bed and have a damned good cry.
Needing: To feel supported. I know I am, I’m just struggling to connect with the feeling. And my partner is having a really tough time and we can’t be here for each other.
Enjoying: I enjoyed looking at different cars. The fact that I got into a six-year old car and thought “blimey this looks modern” shows how many 8 year old cars I’ve sat in. I also enjoyed cleaning my car while testing the stereo. Glad I own a few decent music CDs.
Grateful for: My mum, my partner, my closest friends (you know who you are), this laptop, my new phone, doing better on my MSc than in my BSc. Makes it all worth it.
Looking at the Weather: Grey Clouds.