The Burning Question: What do you want… that you already have?

May8

Since the Phoenix Mind is all about fuelling the fire of our lives, I’m taking part in Danielle La Porte’s Burning Questions series. Don’t forget to take a look at my previous responses and leave your own thoughts. This week’s question and answer can be found here.

What do I want… that I already have?

My list of desires begins with “time with others”. Other items include “a steady income”, “a sense of routine”, “space and time to breathe”, “more mindful moments” and even “the courage to be with my emotions more”.

However, I’m a big fan of the gratitude list: of finding new things each day to be grateful for. “I’m grateful I have friends and housemates to talk to.” kind of fulfils my first wish.

And that’s what today’s burning question is all about. Where am I already getting those things? How can I increase those?

I can knock on housemates doors and ask if they want to cook their meals with me, chatting while I cook mine.

I’m actually happy to trade that steady income for time working on my degree, and I am keeping my mind open to new opportunities.

I’m in control of my sense of routine – I could begin each day with a simple practise which sets up the day. I could make a habit of going through my diary each morning and working out where I’ll do each extra item from my to-do list around my other commitments.

I can always take a moment to be mindful; to meditate or just to chant.

And I’m working on the last one.

What things are on your list?

And where can you find them already in your life?

I bet you’ll find they’re there already – you just need to increase how often you meet them.

What items are on your list and where are they met?

Thanks for stopping by to hear my views; please feel free to share yours in return. Either leave me a comment (feel free to ask me more questions about my answers!) or head over to the prompt post to reply.

– Rose –

The Burning Question: What money resentments do you have…that you could let go of?

Apr23

What money resentments do I have…that I could let go of?

The first thing that comes to mind is my annoyance with exchange rates, and that far off thought that I wish bartering would be re-instated as an option. So often I would happily work for someone else in return for a skill of theirs.

I guess the real reason for that is that I resent having to spend my “extra earned money” on rent and bills, because I grew up with “here’s your allowance from doing housework; any extra or left-over is yours to spend on what you want.”

I resent having lost my ‘reward’ because I’m in a position where I’m not earning enough to cover more than the necessities. I don’t have “left-over” money, and I can’t actually ask for more hours of work in my current job.

Letting Go

I guess in letting go of this resentment, I should redefine my perspective.

Can I view my time here as a reward in itself? I’m living with two people I get on with, I can make whatever meals I like (my parents follow strict and limited diet/meal plans) and I have some wonderful opportunities to make the most of every day.

Spending money on rent, food and bills to be here in this highly-rewarding space is pretty much a reward, isn’t it?

What resentments do you hold?

– Rose –

The Burning Question: How do you say what you do?

Apr16

Since the Phoenix Mind is all about fuelling the fire of our lives, I’m taking part in Danielle La Porte’s Burning Questions series, especially now that the Tuesday Titbit series has finished. This week’s question and answer can be found here.

How do I say what I do? (And give myself credit.)

In answering this question from my room, on my blog, I’d say:

“I’m a redefinition alchemist. I use a movement based practise and a mixture of linguistic and psychological tools to help people rewire their brains, and thus their thoughts and experiences; to reshape their worlds. I’m also a mental health worker and a student of neuroscience.”

However, I had to answer this question today, and thus I can tell you exactly how I say what I do:

“I study Neurosicence but I also volunteer a lot.” -add prompting from other person here- “Work? Oh yeah, I teach this dance thing, and work for the Uni.”

-sharp intake of breath as I look from the first version and then to the second-

Whoops!

I thought I had it down. It looks like I haven’t yet. With so many aspects to my life right now, I find it hard to define exactly which bits to tell people. As this person was a student, I stuck with the “part-time job and full-time student” persona.

However, that’s less than eight hours a week accounted for. Looks like I’ve got some brain-storming to be doing.

How do you fare in this topic?

Is your answer more like my first one, or my second (and thus actual) one?

Thanks for hearing my answer, and please feel free to share yours in return. Either leave me a comment (feel free to ask me more questions about my answers!) or head over to the prompt post to reply.

– Rose –

The Burning Question: What Do You Want To Revolutionize?

Apr10

So. What do I want to revolutionize? I’ve picked my main three, because otherwise we could be here all week.

- The way we deal with other people. I want us to connect, to ask more questions, to really hear when we listen, to smile at everyone and everything which has the potential to bring us joy.

- I’d love to revolutionize how people use language, especially in terms of self-talk. How many people call themselves stupid or their dreams ridiculous? I want people to realise that language has a power and that we can change our experience and perception of life by changing our language.

- I want to revolutionize the view of “people in power”. Politicians, royalty, police, teachers, managers, business owners. I want the people in charge of thousands of people’s lives to respect that opportunity and to do their best to ensure everyone is heard, understood and that they have needs which are met. In return, those people could view the “people in power” in a positive, super-hero way. Or at least in a compassionate Gandhi way.

Thanks for hearing my answer, and please feel free to share yours in return. Either leave me a comment (feel free to ask me more questions about my answers!) or head over to the prompt post to reply.

– Rose –

The Burning Question: What’s your favourite piece of advice that you’ve been given?

Apr3

What is my favourite piece of advice… I have a few favourites, but the one I’ve been thinking about the most is by Gary Vaynerchuk:

“If you wanna do shit, work.”

The longer version of that is actually:

“Work 9-5, spend a couple hours with your family. 7 to 2 in the morning is plenty of time to do damage. But that’s it. It’s not going to happen any other way. You’re not going to make stickers and give out swag and everybody’s gunna give a shit about your site.
I got wrist bands. that is the key.”

…

“You do it after hours. You work 9-6, you get home, you kiss the dog, and you go to town.
You start building your equity and your brand or whatever you’re trying to accomplish, after hours. Everybody has time. Stop watching fucking Lost.

If you want this…
if you want bling bling…
if you wanna buy the Jets…
if you wanna do shit… work.
That’s how you get it.

That’s all I got. There’s just nothing else to say… I love you.”

Someone quoted that advice to me, and then I watched the video… and continue to watch it every time I need a motivational boost.

See the full 15 minute video here.

- Rose -

The Burning Question: What’s Your Relationship To Excitement?

Mar28

So. What is my relationship to excitement?

I’d say we’re good friends. As I only have lectures two days a week, I fill the other three days with things that excite me. Mostly, this is volunteering, blogging, novel-writing and reading. The weekends are for catching up with friends, catching up on university work and for “extra time” on those activities.

My novels are probably the most exciting part of my life right now. I have technically begun seven novels since November 1st 2009, though only three are serious contenders for actually being a finished manuscript beyond the second draft.

Volunteering comes next, as I’m excited about making a positive change to the mental health system. It’s exciting because I’m helping people now, because I’m helping to shape the future in a good way, and because I’m gaining experience that will help me to get a job continuing to positively impact this area.

Reading and Blogging are on par as my third most exciting life experience (in terms of my day-to-day existence).

Future Orientated

I am a future-focused person, as most of you will know. My main motivation for doing any of this is to be 28 with a husband and a window-seat I can write from (even if i have to make a seat myself, I need the window to be low enough).

Even from the age of GCSE grades, I had this notion of “as long as I get to college, it doesn’t matter what I get.” This then happened with A-levels: “getting into university”, my BSc: “getting my MSc” and now suddenly I’ve failed to get into my DClinPsy course.

Yet, I stepped back, found alternatives and without much difficulty, I’ve found myself excited all over again!

Fear

Whatever the next step is for me, it will involve breaking away form education after exactly 17 years and 51 weeks within the system. From my experiments in 2010 with pushing my comfort zone out, I know that with meeting your fear, comes excitement and a lot of exhilaration.

So, excitement and I have a very strong positive relationship.
There’s always another change for joy around the corner, and I am primed to laugh.

Thanks for hearing my answer, and please feel free to share yours in return. Either leave me a comment (feel free to ask me more questions about my answers!) or head over to the prompt post to reply.

– Rose –